3 years ago

8 June, 2015

Student Association Hub, Level 1, Colin Clark (39), The University of Queensland, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia 4067

Organised by:
Economics Society (UQES)

Press release by UQ Economics Society:
The outlook for SWOTVAC for Economics students is not encouraging. Student confidence in exam performance reached bubble-like heights at the beginning of semester, held aloft by students’ overestimation of their own ability to catch up on lectures (instead spent watching Game of Thrones) and underestimation of the difficulty to get out of bed early in the morning, now that winter has truly come.
However, by week 13 the bubble has burst and confidence has now tumbled. Unfortunately, slightly increased motivation to study has not been able to compensate for this fall, although increased consumption of many different coloured highlighters is encouraging.

Investment in sleep and relaxation is below trend, with rising Netflix activity hampering efforts to answer entreaties by friends to ‘go outside!’ This is excluding “Netflix and chill” activities. Procrasti-baking is at an all-time high.
In light of this, the UQES has decided to intervene using a stimulus package (not innuendo this time).

During SWOTVAC, we are supplying red lollipops, red frogs, redskins and red clouds outside Room 104 in Colin Clark (Building 39). It is expected that the increase in sugar and banter will enable students to grow to full potential, and even further, before collapsing again after exams. The assurance of the inevitability of a recession back to Netflix is just another service we are happy to provide to our members.
We wish everyone well in the next week. This is the SWOTVAC we have to have.