I recommend this book for everyone, but particularly for anyone who works in fields where they regularly come into contact with those who are trapped in controlling relationships or are attempting to leave one.
This book opened my eyes and gave me a language for not only what I have experienced in two abusive relationships, but also understanding for why my mother was unable to leave my father despite him being incredibly cruel. I have so much compassion for her now, and a fire burns in my belly at the injustice faced by so many women whose experiences of coercive control is largely invisible to the legal system and who are forced to endure ongoing assaults on their freedom by men who wish to claim and exploit their partner’s resources and labour.

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Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life (Interpersonal Violence): The Entrapment of Women in Personal Life Paperback – 1 March 2009
by
Evan Stark
(Author)
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One of the most important books ever written on domestic violence, Coercive Control breaks through entrenched views of physical abuse that have ultimately failed to protect women. Evan Stark, founder of one of America's first battered women's shelters, shows how "domestic violence" is neither primarily domestic nor necessarily violent, but a pattern of controlling behaviors more akin to terrorism and hostage-taking. Drawing on court records, interviews, and FBI statistics, Stark details coercive strategies that men use to deny women their very personhood, from "beeper games" to food logs to micromanaging dress, speech, sexual activity, and work. Stark urges us to move beyond the injury model and focus on the real victimization that allows men to violate women's human rights with impunity. Provocative and brilliantly argued, Coercive Control reframes abuse as a liberty crime rather than a crime of assault and points the way to bringing "real" equality for women in line with their formal rights to personhood and citizenship, freedom and safety.
- Print length468 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherOxford University Press, U.S.A.
- Publication date1 March 2009
- Dimensions23.47 x 16.46 x 3 cm
- ISBN-100195384040
- ISBN-13978-0195384048
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Product description
Review
"Regardless of whether readers agree or disagree with Stark's contentions or agree only in part, we guarantee they will not ever be bored. It is hoped that this book will be widely read and discussed and its major points incorporated into our daily work. In essence, this book should serve as a catalyst to reinvigorate the domestic violence movement."-- Violence Against Women"...a fascinating new look at how the very question of 'why women stay' has been wrongheaded from the start."--Salon.com"...a book of tremendous import to anyone working with the issue of domestic violence...Coercive Control is a sweeping, compelling and meticulously detailed argument...If, as Stark suggests, the domestic violence field is on the verge of a Kuhnian revolution, this book is the bugle blast."--Sex Roles"Coercive Control is one of the most important books ever written about domestic violence and one that should be widely read by advocates, policymakers, and academics."--Domestic Violence Report"The mix of research, case material and the author's compelling perspective make the book very readable and engaging."--The Psychologist
Review
"Regardless of whether readers agree or disagree with Stark's contentions or agree only in part, we guarantee they will not ever be bored. It is hoped that this book will be widely read and discussed and its major points incorporated into our daily work. In essence, this book should serve as a catalyst to reinvigorate the domestic violence movement."-- Violence Against Women "...a fascinating new look at how the very question of 'why women stay' has been wrongheaded from the start."--Salon.com "...a book of tremendous import to anyone working with the issue of domestic violence...Coercive Control is a sweeping, compelling and meticulously detailed argument...If, as Stark suggests, the domestic violence field is on the verge of a Kuhnian revolution, this book is the bugle blast."--Sex Roles "Coercive Control is one of the most important books ever written about domestic violence and one that should be widely read by advocates, policymakers, and academics."--Domestic Violence Report "The mix of research, case material and the author's compelling perspective make the book very readable and engaging."--The Psychologist
Review
Regardless of whether readers agree or disagree with Stark's contentions or agree only in part, we guarantee they will not ever be bored. It is hoped that this book will be widely read and discussed and its major points incorporated into our daily work. In essence, this book should serve as a catalyst to reinvigorate the domestic violence movement. ― Violence Against Women
...a fascinating new look at how the very question of 'why women stay' has been wrongheaded from the start. ― Salon.com
...a book of tremendous import to anyone working with the issue of domestic violence...Coercive Control is a sweeping, compelling and meticulously detailed argument...If, as Stark suggests, the domestic violence field is on the verge of a Kuhnian revolution, this book is the bugle blast. ― Sex Roles
Coercive Control is one of the most important books ever written about domestic violence and one that should be widely read by advocates, policymakers, and academics. ― Domestic Violence Report
The mix of research, case material and the author's compelling perspective make the book very readable and engaging. ― The Psychologist
...a fascinating new look at how the very question of 'why women stay' has been wrongheaded from the start. ― Salon.com
...a book of tremendous import to anyone working with the issue of domestic violence...Coercive Control is a sweeping, compelling and meticulously detailed argument...If, as Stark suggests, the domestic violence field is on the verge of a Kuhnian revolution, this book is the bugle blast. ― Sex Roles
Coercive Control is one of the most important books ever written about domestic violence and one that should be widely read by advocates, policymakers, and academics. ― Domestic Violence Report
The mix of research, case material and the author's compelling perspective make the book very readable and engaging. ― The Psychologist
Book Description
One of the most important books ever written on domestic violence, Coercive Control breaks through entrenched views of physical abuse that have ultimately failed to protect women
From the Publisher
Evan Stark is an award-winning researcher and has served as an expert in over l00 cases involving battered women and their children. He teaches at the Rutgers School of Public Affairs and Administration and Chairs the Department of Urban Health Administration at the UMDNJ School of Public Health. With Dr. Anne Flitcraft he is the coauthor of Women at Risk: Domestic Violence and Women's Health. He lives in Woodbridge, Connecticutt.
About the Author
Evan Stark is an award-winning researcher and has served as an expert in over l00 cases involving battered women and their children. He teaches at the Rutgers School of Public Affairs and Administration and Chairs the Department of Urban Health Administration at the UMDNJ School of Public Health. With Dr. Anne Flitcraft he is the coauthor of Women at Risk: Domestic Violence and Women's Health. He lives in Woodbridge, Connecticutt.
Product details
- Publisher : Oxford University Press, U.S.A. (1 March 2009)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 468 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0195384040
- ISBN-13 : 978-0195384048
- Dimensions : 23.47 x 16.46 x 3 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: 33,955 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
177 global ratings
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Top reviews from other countries

Alison Miller
3.0 out of 5 stars
The notion of coercive control, as in hostage taking ...
Reviewed in Canada on 3 September 2015Verified Purchase
The notion of coercive control, as in hostage taking and imprisonment, being the central issue in family violence is definitely more accurate than the current focus on the isolated incidents of violence. However, Stark asserts, on the basis of his own forensic experience, that only men do this. Not so! Women do it too, to their partners and especially to their children.
3 people found this helpful
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New England Lisa
5.0 out of 5 stars
changes EVERYTHING about the way I see intimate partner violence
Reviewed in the United States on 15 April 2015Verified Purchase
This is an amazing book. It provides a history of the domestic violence movement--what we've done right and wrong. It evaluates various interventions (such as shelters and groups for battering men) using statistics. It obligates us to face the fact that much of what we've done has not helped keep women safe. In persuasive language, the book urges that we look at ALL the ways women are controlled in their intimate relationships--not just physical violence.
This book also provides three detailed case histories of extremely violent and controlling relationships, and shows how the concept of Coercive Control provides the missing piece to help us understand the victim's behavior, and suggests new legal and law enforcement approaches to intimate partner violence.
This book entirely changed the way I view violence against women in intimate relationships. This book is especially well-suited to academics and people in the legal system.
This book also provides three detailed case histories of extremely violent and controlling relationships, and shows how the concept of Coercive Control provides the missing piece to help us understand the victim's behavior, and suggests new legal and law enforcement approaches to intimate partner violence.
This book entirely changed the way I view violence against women in intimate relationships. This book is especially well-suited to academics and people in the legal system.
36 people found this helpful
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Noneofyourbusiness
5.0 out of 5 stars
“Why I Stayed” Explained !
Reviewed in the United States on 29 May 2019Verified Purchase
Finally the chillingly accurate explanation of “why I stayed” 46 years in a non-violent marriage. The incremental mind control that stripped away my personhood, inch by inch, is fully explained in Dr. Stark’s expertly researched book.
I also recommend Sandra L. Brown’s book “Women Who Love Psychopaths” 3rd Edition.
Her research on Super Traits completes the understanding of how & why strong, capable, intelligent, resourceful women remain entrapped in abusive relationships. So much more complicated than Co-Dependency & the simple minded Power & Control Wheel.
I also recommend Sandra L. Brown’s book “Women Who Love Psychopaths” 3rd Edition.
Her research on Super Traits completes the understanding of how & why strong, capable, intelligent, resourceful women remain entrapped in abusive relationships. So much more complicated than Co-Dependency & the simple minded Power & Control Wheel.
45 people found this helpful
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Lorraine Kerr
5.0 out of 5 stars
Essential Reading
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 4 January 2020Verified Purchase
Everyone should read this book. This behaviour is so unacceptably normal that no-one recognises coercive control (in whatever form) as abuse or talks about it ... or even knows it’s happening to them if they are a victim.
11 people found this helpful
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