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Are You My Mother?: A Comic Drama Paperback – 2 April 2013

4.4 out of 5 stars 697 ratings

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From the New York Times bestselling author of Fun Home, Are You My Mother?: A Comic Drama is a brilliantly told graphic memoir of Alison Bechdel becoming the artist her mother wanted to be.

A New York Times, USA Today, and Time Best Book of the Year

Alison Bechdel's Fun Home was a pop culture and literary phenomenon. Now, a second thrilling tale of filial sleuthery, this time about her mother: voracious reader, music lover, passionate amateur actor. Also a woman, unhappily married to a closeted gay man, whose artistic aspirations simmered under the surface of Bechdel's childhood . . . and who stopped touching or kissing her daughter good night, forever, when she was seven.

Poignantly, hilariously, Bechdel embarks on a quest for answers concerning the mother-daughter gulf. It's a richly layered search that leads readers from the fascinating life and work of the iconic twentieth-century psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, to one explosively illuminating Dr. Seuss illustration, to Bechdel's own (serially monogamous) adult love life. And, finally, back to Mother -- to a truce, fragile and real-time, that will move and astonish all adult children of gifted mothers.
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"In Are You My Mother?, Alison Bechdel poses an infinity of thought-provoking questions about women, literature, feminism, family bonds, psychology and the complicated relationship between therapist and patient...The book is a page turner, thanks in part to Bechdel's lovely and subtle illustrations. Bechdel's examination of her relationship with her mother also touches on the universal push and pull between mothers and children...The book's transcendent ending is Bechdel's expression of love for her own 'good enough mother.'"--USA Today "Sad, funny, sprawling graphic memoir...An intensely personal, specific story, but Bechdel's imaginative narrative techniques make it easily as compelling as any fiction...Its stylistic flexibility accomodates more layers than any straight documentary or prose memoir could support...This work is her link in the long chain connecting her foremothers and their daughters and all of the other women who shaped her."--The Atlantic "A staggering achievement...Although Bechdel utilizes all the features of the graphic-novel form, she is so intelligent and perceptive that this story of self-discovery (an abused term, but never more apt) would still be compelling if told only in prose...Are You My Mother? is a masterwork that gracefully documents the torture that sensitive people can put themselves through while searching for the casual movers of their lives."--The Daily Beast "Are You My Mother? is a tremendously intimate work, more so even than Fun Home. Taken together, the two books are a practical guide to the complicated, unspoken negotiations that take place between children and their parents, those sphinxlike beings who give us life and then promptly deal us near fatal psychic wounds.Watching Bechdel dig into the underworld of her subconscious is paradoxically uplifting. The courage and rigor with which she examines her life make readers feel as if their own secrets might not be quite so unspeakable."--Lev Grossman, Time Magazine "...Magnificent... Whatever issues Bechdel has with her mother, one always has the sense that she likes her as much as she loves her. That affection -- and the real sense one gets of her mother reading these pages, running her finger over the tenderly drawn panels of their history -- gives this book an urgency and an intimacy that Fun Home, in retrospect, lacked... Bechdel's triumph is not just that she's emerged from her tunnel, with weary but clear eyes, but that she's brought her mother with her. Grade: A"--Entertainment Weekly "...Are You My Mother is as complicated, brainy, inventive and satisfying as the finest prose memoirs...The tragedy and comedy are so entwined, so gloriously balanced, the reader can't help being fascinated. The book delivers lightening bolts of revelation...I haven't encountered a book about being an artist, or about the punishing entanglements of mothers and daughters, as engaging, profound or original as this one in a long time. In fact, the book made such a deep impression on me that after reading it I walked around for days seeing little bits and snatches of my life as Alison Bechdel drawings."--The New York Times Book Review "Are You My Mother is a work of the most humane kind of genius, bravely going right to the heart of things: why we are who we are. It's also incredibly funny. And visually stunning. And page-turningly addictive. And heartbreaking."--Jonathan Safran Foer, author of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and Everything is Illuminated "Many of us are living out the unlived lives of our mothers. Alison Bechdel has written a graphic novel about this; sort of like a comic book by Virginia Woolf. You won't believe it until you read it--and you must!"--Gloria Steinem "This book is not so much the sequel to Ali --

From the Back Cover

A "New York Times," "USA Today," "Time," "Slate," and Barnes & Noble Best Book of the Year

Complex, funny, and ultimately affirming, the book is another masterpiece of graphic storytelling. "Boston Globe"

In this brilliantly told graphic memoir, Alison Bechdel embarks on a quest for answers concerning her complex relationship with her mother a voracious reader and passionate amateur actor, a woman whose creative aspirations simmered under the surface of Bechdel s childhood.

As Bechdel grapples with having become the artist her mother wanted to be, she takes readers from the fascinating life and work of the iconic psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, to one explosively illuminating Dr. Seuss illustration, to her own adult love life. Ultimately, though, she comes back to Mother and their fragile, poignant truce.

Magnificent . . . Bechdel s triumph is not just that she s emerged from her tunnel, with weary but clear eyes, but that she s brought her mother with her. "Entertainment Weekly
""

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0544002237
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Mariner Books
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ 2 April 2013
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ Reprint
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780544002234
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0544002234
  • Item weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 kg
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.24 x 1.75 x 22.86 cm
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 out of 5 stars 697 ratings

About the author

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Alison Bechdel
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ALISON BECHDEL’s cult following for her early comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For expanded wildly for her family memoirs, the New York Times bestselling and Time magazine #1 Book of the Year graphic memoir Fun Home, adapted into a Tony Award–winning musical, and Are You My Mother? Most recently, The Secret to Superman Strength was named a New York Times Best Graphic Novel of 2021. Bechdel has been named a MacArthur Fellow, among many other honors.

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  • Francisco
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good to read
    Reviewed in Canada on 15 April 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Great book!
  • M. T. D. C. M.
    5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant narrative and graphic book.
    Reviewed in the United States on 5 October 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Are you my Mother? is the most intellectually engaging comic book I have ever read, and I have read plenty! I came to this book because her name is in my list of "must" female graphic artists, and I am not disappointed. There are many reasons, beyond the undeniable quality of the book at both narrative and graphic levels, I was thrilled to find some of my favourite reading interests being part of the narrative (psychology, psychoanalysis, mental disorders) and some of my life practices reflected as well (dreamwork and metaconciousness), while a friend of mine is very interested in the Mother Archetype (and I even had a synchronicity event with her while reading this book).

    Are you my Mother? is Bechdel's quest to understand the relationship she has with her mother from childhood to the present time to help her understand how their relationship shaped her psyche an who she is. It sounds a bit boring, but it is not!

    The book is a wide open window to Bechdel's mind and heart, and to the way she lives and sees the world. She does not censor herself to be liked, so her opinions about the world, life or other artists, her family, her mother, her girlfriend/s and herself are sincere and believable. We also see her displaying her neurosis, depression, her obsessions and compulsions. Bechdel has a sharp-razor mind that understands complexity with easiness and sometimes she thinks the reader will to. I don't think is always the case, but she does not debase herself to the level of the mainstream reader because that is not who she is. A killer combination of elements that will get any person interested. There is no fluff in this book, but you will find moments of tenderness, passion, fun, sadness, doubt, confusion and raw honesty, all of them infused in the hiper-metaconsciousness Bechdel swims daily to sort out her personal and creative life.

    The book has a Matryoshka doll sort of feeling as it is organically multi-layered and cohesive in her graphic and literary narrative, and one layer cover another, which, at its turn, covers another, despite all being a perfectly organic set. This a very Magritte-ish book as well, both in the imagery (See, f. e. pages 212 or 252) and its structure. So we see her writing the book about her father, while she is interacting with her mother, creating the book about her mother, thinking about the book about her mother, seeing herself doing so, at the same time. Almost an out of the body experience. The chapter on mirrors is perhaps the most clear example of this Magritte's man painting himself while paints himself while paints himself. Extremely cool.

    Graphically speaking, Bechdel is amazing. Her drawings are realistic, very expressive and multifaceted, very attentive to the detail (from the facial micro-expressions to the details on the floor or walls, everything!) but also very dynamic. Her approach to this graphic novel is also very photographic and cinematic, and reminds me of a pre-movie visual-rendering of a script, because her drawings are not only fabulous per se, they are fabulously composed and framed: eagle-view scenes, scenes from the street into a room, scenes with the self as object (shots of her feet, reflections on a mirror or train window), voyeuristic (sex scenes). Moreover, she inserts and reproduces with her own handwriting personal (past and present) letters by her, her mother and her father, pages of newspapers, highlights from the books she is reading, clipped photos and quotes, mock-flashback images about her mother's childhood, Winnicott and Wolf's lives, and what it is not. Just awesome. They create texture, they create life on a paper and visually engage and enthral the reader.

    Everything looks and flows so easily that one forgets that it is masterful. You have to stop and say wow to yourself, because this girl has an extraordinary talent. I found so many wow pages and vignettes! Just one example, pages 103-105 and how she depicts the pass of time, so beautifully simple and effective.

    Having said the above, this is a complex book, divided in chapters that start with the depiction of one of her dreams, and dive into especial facets of the relationship mother-daughter from a psychoanalytic point of view. She starts with Freud and Jung readings but ends devoting her attention to the work of Donald Winnicott, whose life and writings on mother-child bonding click more with her. She also sees some parallels between Winnicott's theories, Virginia Wolf's writings (the Lighthouse especially) and her own life. Bechdel plays dream analyst and psychoanalyst with herself, and she is the object and the subject of her book. There are nudity, sex scenes and adult themes in the book, so this is not a graphic book for a lazy reader or for children.

    I don't like the hue of red used in the normal pages of the book. I would have rather had all in black or white or work on another hues. I found that the textures of the colour could have been better, but this me being fussy!
  • Delia
    5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinante
    Reviewed in Mexico on 30 October 2016
    Verified Purchase
    Fascinante mezcla de literatura y psicoanálisis. Excelente novela gráfica. Tan buena como la primera parte, solo un poco más compleja.
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  • Federica M
    5.0 out of 5 stars Splendida graphic novel
    Reviewed in Italy on 26 January 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Libro meraviglioso. L'inglese usato è complesso e il testo è molto ampio, per cui se non avete voglia di tradurre un po' cercate l'edizione in italiano. Come ho già detto, il libro in sè è meraviglioso, ed è meravigliosa l'integrazione tra disegno e testi - che sono scritti spesso a mano, cosa per cui varrebbe davvero la pena avere la versione originale in inglese. Buona letttura.
  • Ana
    4.0 out of 5 stars Un cómic diferente
    Reviewed in Spain on 16 May 2014
    Verified Purchase
    Una novela gráfica muy entretenida sobre la relación de la autora con su madre y con sus novias, al mismo tiempo analiza sus emociones y sentimientos.